Four Ways to Communicate with Your Spouse About Conflict

Finding ways to effectively communicate with your spouse can be a challenge, especially when you encounter conflict.

We’ve all experienced conflict in our marriage, issues we shove under the rug and ignore (workaholism, financial issues, parenting stress, etc.). We try to wish it away, but it remains. If we aren’t proactive about communicating these issues, things could take a turn for the worse. Here are some tips I learned during pre-marital counseling which could help you talk with your spouse about the hard issues in a healthy way:

• Hear the other person out. Don’t interrupt your spouse. This can be tough to do, especially when you think the other person is wrong. One way you can resist the urge to interject is by taking notes while they are talking. It will quell the urge to speak in haste, and it could very well prevent a full blown argument.
• Communicate back what you hear the other person say. I have a tendency to assume the worst whenever I am in a conflict. I am a naturally “glass is half empty” type of person. Whenever I try this second technique, I soon learn that my interpretation of what the other person said or did wasn’t 100% accurate. This technique  prevents unnecessary miscommunication.
• Don’t expect to solve the problem in one conversation. Table some aspects of the discussion for later. Big problems and big conflicts aren’t solved in one conversation. Be prepared for multiple talks if needed.
• Affirm your love for each other at the end of the conversation. This serves as a reminder that you aren’t enemies. You’re partners who’ve encountered a speed bump on life’s journey. The Bible verse “don’t let the sun set on your anger” rings true in marriage relationships. So make sure love, not anger or bitterness, ends each of these hard conversations.

What ways have you solved conflict in your marriage? I’d love to hear your tips!

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