My husband says I’m insecure about my ability to live a creative life, and that I need a lot of validation. He’s right.
But I wasn’t always so wishy-washy.
When I first came to faith in the Lord as an 11 year old, a whole new world of possibilities opened up to me. I believed 110% that I could do anything and that included living a creative life. And so I dreamed big dreams and had the blessing of seeing those dreams come to fruition.
Yet as I got older, those school teacher voices of doubt and conformity riddled my brain with thoughts like:
“Color in the lines.”
“Forget that acting thing and major in Economics. That’ll get you a secure job in something like investment banking.” (?!)
“You can’t make a real living as an artist.”
I bought into those beliefs and paid for it dearly with years of unfulfilling work which didn’t feed my soul. As a result, I shortchanged myself artistically during my twenties. That young girl who once dreamed big dreams had been squelched by the illusory “real world.”
Now, as I take steps towards a creative life, I have to overcome this inner struggle with myself daily.
Am I really smart? Am I really creative? Can I really do that?
All of my self-inquiries are really questions of: Am I worthy? Am I brilliant? Am I talented? Am I fabulous? Am I beautiful?
As an adult, I am learning daily to accept what I had already known as a child: that I am, in fact, worthy, brilliant, talented, fabulous and beautiful.
I’m learning to get out out of my own way.
How about you? Do you know that you are brilliant, fabulous, talented and beautiful? Or do you have to get out of your own way?
Yes, Preslaysa! You are good enough – you can do this… that’s what your soul has been telling you all along. I hear you about the way life tries to pound us all into one mold. But no good — we are all gifted with desires and talents. How wonderful that you are having this opportunity to finally pursue what’s been inside:)
Thanks, Seana! I appreciate your encouragement.
What a beautiful post, and such a good reminder for me! I also worked in a similar field for a while before giving into the creativity more – I needed to hear this for sure!! 🙂 Blessings, Lauren
Thanks for stopping by, Lauren!! Glad my post encouraged you.
Preslaysa, what an awesome post!
As adults, we must not squelch the dreams of our youth! Right now, my daughter desires to get into acting. We have done swimming, tennis, basketball, baseball, and a few more activities. But, my husband and I keep at it until we she/we discover her true passion.
Someone handed her a flyer at our church about a few acting roles in an upcoming production and she said, “I’ve always wanted to act & sing” which is a gift I’ve seen in her. So, this may be it! (SMILE)
I shall be tweeting this now, if you don’t mind: “I am, in fact, worthy, brilliant, talented, fabulous and beautiful.”
Thanks, Yulunda! Finding our passion is so important, isn’t it? And thanks for tweeting me. (I feel special, lol!)
Yes! I can be and do all that God has called me to. Made in His image and likeness with His Holy Spirit in me, NOTHING can stop me!
I am strengthened once again, thanks for sharing!
You’re welcome Ugochi!
You are all of those things! You can do this!!!! I have the same struggles, and I need to get out of my own way as well. This was so inspiring. Thank you!!
Thanks, Lynne. Glad that the post inspired you!
great post – hope it turns out the way you want it 🙂
Thanks for stopping by my blog xoxo
Thanks, Sue!
I most definitely get in my own way, so thank you for the reminder to embrace who I am!
You’re welcome!
I love your posts – they are always so beautiful and thought provoking. I get in my way every day – but I’m working on it!
Thank you so much, Lana!
Stopping by from Saturday Sharefest. I was intrigued by your blog title. I enjoyed the post and agree with you. It is hard enough to find time to be creative if you have a day job, children, husband but adding in doubts about your ability make it almost impossible. I often refer to myself as an artisan rather than an artist. Enjoy your Day. Keep writing and creating.
Thanks for stopping by, Sheila! Yes, there is so much we have to push against to live a creative life, but we MUST PUSH! I’m glad you enjoyed the post.
You’re so right when you say we have to get out of our own way–I think for many women (me included), we are our own worst critic. I know I have internalized all the bad things people have told me; and regularly fight to keep those voices silent.
With the support of your husband (he’s right!), you can go miles farther than you even imagine–so get started; and tell us where you go!
Stopping by from the SITS Saturday Sharefest
We can go miles! Thanks for stopping by, Ann.
Oh, I loved this. Isn’t it crazy how we have to relearn what come so naturally as a child? Loved this and think a little of it is in all of us we get older. Hooray to the creative souls doing it anyway. My grown son and I were just talking about taking a vacation together. He suggested we bring my art doodle book with markers and pencils and also suggested that I bring my cameras and teach him a little about photography. Oh, how he GETS it. It sounds like one amazing and inspirational weekend. Loved this post, and it’s comforting to know we all feel like this. Glad I found you on SITS today. It’s nice to meet you!
I think creativity is so important. I was timid about it once too but now I love doing something creative because I THnk it’s relaxing. I have a friend that’s an artist and she paints ceiling tiles for women’s health and cancer centers so they have something pretty to look at while getting treatments. I’m stopping by from SITS & I hope your having a great Saturday.
I had (and still do) the same questions – I’ve always been led towards the creative, but my typically Asian family wasn’t too keen on that side of life as a future for me. I’m glad I got out of my own way too. 🙂
Cool, Alison! Getting out of our own way is definitely an ongoing effort.