Black women

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“Only by learning to live in harmony with your contradictions can you keep it all afloat.” -Audre Lorde

The more I’ve learned to live with my contradictions, the more at peace I’ve been with myself.

I can laugh at a funny movie and later, rage at police brutality.

I can love Black Jesus and be critical of the Church.

I can look forward to taking my life in a new direction and sob over what I’m leaving behind.

Nothing in life is one hundred percent ‘either-or’. If we look closely enough, if we open our hearts to see the full story, we’ll notice the contradictions, the vagaries, the maybes.

If we’re brave enough, we’ll say: “My contradictions are fine. I am enough.”

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“Nobody is as powerful as we make them out to be.” -Alice Walker

I’m getting to the point where I can laugh at racism. In the grand scheme of things, no system of power has complete authority over how I live.

Yes, systems of oppression harm Black and Brown people. Yet when I am marginalized in their world, I create a world where Black and Brown people are centered.

When I am the minority in their scheme of things, Black and Brown people become celebrated and centered in my scheme.

If I choose, racist notions of power can set me on a path of becoming more autonomous and more creative. I can create spaces where I am blackity-black-black and free.

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“Don’t wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you’ve got to make for yourself.”–Alice Walker

I learned this the hard way. For a long time, I strived and worked and labored so that others would be happy for me. I gave others power that I should’ve kept for myself. In the end, I felt exhausted, depleted, and bitter.

In order to reclaim my happiness, I had to let go of things which fed this vicious cycle of happiness-seeking and people pleasing. That was an act of faith on my part.

Happiness was within my reach all along. I didn’t have to rely on others to give it to me. This realization set me on the path of liberation.

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“Grab the broom of anger and drive off the beast of fear.”–Zora Neale Hurston

Holy anger is good for the soul. In the past, I ran away from anger. I used to think anger wasn’t a “good” emotion, and so I stuffed it away in the closet of my soul. I let it fester and rot my heart and mind.

When I feel anger today, I embrace it as a signal that something is amiss, and it’s time for me to rise to action. I use anger to drive off my fear.

Fear of what people will think when I speak on issues of race and social justice.

Fear of what people will think when I show my discontent, anger, and upset.

Fear of what people will think when I assert my humanity, especially my I-am-not-your-Negro humanity.

Holy anger propels me to my next-level Self and enables me to be a freer human.