“Once you know who you are, you don’t have to worry anymore.” -Nikki Giovanni
inspiration
True Success
“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” – Maya Angelou
My biggest struggle has been the “liking yourself” part Maya’s statement. I love what I do. I love how I do it (although I tend to be a perfectionist)…but liking myself? Meh.
Internal and external factors have contributed to whether I like myself. The external ones deal with social norms which don’t favor Black women and Womxn of color.
The internal ones deal with my self-image and self-esteem. Yet both factors are intricately connected.
Success occurs when all three become a peaceful trinity. Today, after years of heartache, I like myself. And so today, I’m successful. How about you?
The Lifelines
“I am a feminist, and what that means to me is much the same as the meaning of the fact that I am Black: it means that I must undertake to love myself and to respect myself as though my very life depends upon self-love and self-respect.” – June Jordan
My life depends on how much I love and respect myself. The world already has their views of me. That’s out of my control.
And so my life depends on how much I love and respect myself. It depends on what I will and will not accept regarding how I relate to others and to myself.
Self-love is revolutionary.
Self-respect is avant-garde.
For Black women, both are a lifeline.
Don’t Bow Down
“I will not have my life narrowed down. I will not bow down to somebody else’s whim or to someone else’s ignorance. ” – bell hooks
When I finally decided to not have my life narrowed down, I didn’t know it would be such a fight.
A fight to stand in my truth.
A fight to stand in my identity.
A fight to stand in my talents and gifts.
It’s worth the fight. I’d rather be authentic and free, than inauthentic and beholden to another.
If someone displays ignorance, I don’t “ignorate” along with them. I leave.
If someone wants me to bow to their whim, I stand in my truth.
Life is too short to waste time squeezing myself into other people’s molds. It’s best to be who I am. Today.
Turning to the Light
“You never find yourself until you face the truth.” -Pearl Bailey
What truth do you have to face about yourself?
There are a lot of truths about myself that I have yet to face, but I’m slowly peeling away layers upon layers of my defense mechanisms until I get to the core of who I am.
When I face Divine light, seeing the truth about myself happens more quickly. God never holds back the truth about me.
Often we shy away from facing Divine light because we’re afraid of standing before it, naked and ashamed.
The thing is, Light is Light is Light. Love is Love is Love. All that is revealed ultimately heals; it doesn’t harm. All that is unveiled ultimately binds; it doesn’t wound.
We simply have to surrender to the process of being more and more new,
more and more true,
more and more you.
Let Go of What No Longer Serves You
“Whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you’ll find that when you’re free…your true self comes out.” -Tina Turner
I’ve held on to too many people and situations that were bringing me down. I’ve held onto them for much longer than needed.
I grasped them so tightly that my physical appearance and overall well-being suffered.
I held onto them tightly because I was afraid of who I’d become on the other side of freedom.
If you want to fly, you got to let go of the things weighing you down:
The time sucks.
The energy vampires.
The negative people.
The wasteful activities.
The haters.
The process of releasing those things which no longer serve you is rough, but once you pass through, you’ll find your true self.
Finding Joy in Your Work
“I define joy as a sustained sense of well-being and internal peace – a connection to what matters.” -Oprah Winfrey
I’ve been thinking about the connection between joy and work. When I pinpointed what matters to me in my work, I’ve also located my joy.
I find a deep sense of fulfillment in centering people who have been historically marginalized in other areas. I find joy in centering womxn of color: Black, Brown Yellow; Native, Indigenous, Diasporic, Home-Grown.
Joy brings peace. Peace is a state of being where there’s nothing missing and nothing broken in our lives. Many narratives about womxn of color, Black womxn specifically, show us as missing, broken, bereft.
I see womxn on the margins as whole. This empowers me to find the best in who we are as womxn. It also contributes to my well-being.
What do you like about yourself? What brings you joy and peace? If you find that, you’ll find everything good and healing. You’ll truly become whole.
The Beauty in Self-Knowledge
“If you don’t understand yourself, you don’t understand anybody else.” -Nikki Giovanni
Self-knowledge is key. It’s also a lifelong process.
The things I know about myself today, I didn’t know five or ten years ago. The lessons I learned today, I wasn’t ready to learn earlier in life.
It’s presumptive to believe we understand everything about everyone else, if we don’t first look within and see who we truly are.
When I hold the mirror to myself, I may wince at what I see, but if I keep looking, inquiring, and unpacking, I’ll encounter deeper and deeper levels of liberation.
Then I can look at everyone else with clear-eyed discernment. I can see who is in my corner and who isn’t. I can see who loves me and who doesn’t.
I also see what I want and what I despise.
What parts of yourself cry for liberation? Hold the mirror up to yourself. Don’t be afraid to see.
