Before I had children, I used to think being an at home Mom would drive me stir crazy. Today, when many realize that I spend the majority of my time with small children, they sometimes give me looks of pity, saying stuff like: “I couldn’t do it.” or “You are a brave woman.” or the biggie…
“Don’t you need to get out of the house?”
Nope, I don’t.
The days are long, and yes, the days are sometimes rough, but I’ve settled into a rhythm at home. A rhythm which I liken to a moving stillness. In the midst of the busyness, I find spaces of peace which ground me, and show me that I’m on the right track.
These “peace spaces” are often found in the most mundane activities: stopping to nurse the baby, washing the breakfast dishes, washing the lunch dishes, washing the dinner dishes, wiping the poopy butts, folding a load of warm clothes fresh out the dryer. The mundane provides me with predictability. Since children are often times unpredictable in their behavior, engaging in the daily, the montonous, the seemingly dull disciplines of home life provides serenity amidst the noise.
Besides these philosophical reasons for why I don’t dream of jumping into the minivan and driving away to The Land of Domestic Liberation. I’ve also found some practical ones. Here are a few:
1) I don’t want to lug all that baby equipment into the minivan: car seat, stroller, diaper bag, car keys, toddler and baby (I have to make a conscious effort not to forget to bring the children, something apt to occur in the midst of all the ‘get out of the house’ frenzy.)
2) If I want to be at ‘said place’ on time, that often requires meticulous preparation the night before. This includes: ensuring there’s enough breastmilk in the fridge for the outing, packing snacks and perhaps lunches depending on the duration of the outing, refilling the diaper bag with wipes and diapers, etc., getting directions if it’s a new place. All of this is in addition to the regular nightly evening routine of baths, bedtime stories, dishes, straightening up, etc. By the evening time, I’m ready for bed. Anything extra just means more…extra. (I don’t like unecessary extra.)
3) My baby needs her naps and getting out of the house often disrupts them, especially when I need the baby to nap the most. (‘Nuf said.)
4) By the time I return home from the outing, I feel more frazzled and need to mentally decompress…but I have to unload all that stuff from the minivan and so who has time to decompress?!
There you have it.
Question for You: If you’re an at home Mom, do you feel the need to get out of the house? If so, what do you do to cope?
Leave a Reply